Are your kids lacking respect, whining, biting, not listening, backchatting, having tantrums, using bad language… or worse. Is your home basically a battleground? Read these tips for good behavior and get your family life off to a fresh start today.
Kids Need Boundaries
Young kids often don’t realize where the line is drawn, and older kids will push were they can to exert their independence. Have a family meeting and agree on 5 – 10 appropriate and realistic House Rules according to how old your kids are.
Clarify Consequences
If your child refuses to obey the House Rules, or does something you’ve asked them not to, give them a warning: explain clearly and calmly what will happen if they don’t stop this behavior within a designated time (1-10 minutes, depending on what they’re doing and how old they are). Back off and allow them this time to stop it by themselves.
Follow Through
If they won’t stop acting up, make sure you follow through on the consequence calmly and without aggression. Then forget about it. Make sure your child has the chance to start all over and show you how good he really can be.
Reward Good Behavior
Time and time again it’s clear that prevention is better than cure, and kids are more likely to behave well if you spontaneously encourage them when you catch him being good. Keep a Reward Chart and make space for bonus points for extra-special behavior.
One-To-One Time
Often, kids behave poorly to get themselves some parental attention. Schedule time with your children for having fun and you’ll get less bad Behavior from the start.
Peer Group Pressure
If you feel your child’s Behavior is being negatively influenced, deal with it. If it’s hard to talk to the other child’s parents, talk to the school. If they’re not at school, work to minimize contact with the child who is causing the trouble during nursery or playdates. Encourage the kids to play at your home, and make sure his friends know they too are expected to follow your House Rules or they will be taken home.
Choice and Control
From a limited list of options you’re comfortable with, let the kids choose what they eat, what they do, what they wear, what they play with and for how long. Whilst you’re having your family meeting about House Rules, give them a say in the consequences for disobeying rules – from ‘no TV’ to ‘5 minutes time out’ – as well as how good Behavior should be rewarded.
Stay Calm
If you’re tired or you’ve been there a million times already that day, it’s easy to have a snap reaction. Having a plan to say calm will help your child to follow suit, and will avoid overly harsh disciplining and stand-offs. If you feel yourself getting wound up, take a break in another room (if you’re not endangering your child), distract yourself with some music or a spot of washing up, or simply count to ten before responding.
Talk About It
Parenting is 110% easier if you’re not doing it alone. Join a forum, a mother’s group, talk to friends and family or even just keep a journal. Ask for solutions to issues, try not to complain about things and notice positive changes in your family life so you can pass on good advice to others.
R&R: Routine and Rest
Poor sleep patterns can affect the way kids behave, develop and learn. Watch out for mood swings and tantrums when your child is tired and hungry, and change your daily schedule to avoid these peaks. A solid, realistic daily routine will help them (and you!) get adequate rest and enable them to physically face the day.